Things I Overheard While Talking To Myself #10 (Esther, Hate creates hate, When you’re sick you get cake!)

Esther She cried when she saw me. I don't blame her. I looked nothing like I looked the last time she saw me, and it was a shock. I get it. Lately I shock myself when I catch myself in front of the mirror. That guy in the mirror looks bad. Certainly he looks worse...

Coronavirus Blues #2

One of my daughters is very prone to anxiety. To make matters worse, she in particular has always been anxious of end of the world scenarios. Her dreams are made up of zombies, tsunamis, viruses, supernovas, or nuclear wars. So, this coronavirus thing is taking its toll. And like it is in most cases, it's...

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Sorry, I heard this song today from Sesame Street and had to write this. I apologize to all those who will be offended by this. Kidding. I don't care. I have often been quoted as saying I don't like people. Well I don't. They are needy, pushy, and annoying. And, to be honest, I think...

Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself #3 (loud cars, crazy birds, and oh my God put the milk away already!)

I'm gonna slash his tires one day.  I am so not kidding, maybe. I think, because I was a cop, I am especially sensitive to people being stupid with their cars. Parking in handicap spaces when you aren't supposed to, intentionally making your car louder than it should be, and simply not knowing how to...

The Shadow

I remember the moment when Andre was first diagnosed with cancer. We all waited and hoped for a miracle before the results came. His mom had cancer at the same age so  the idea that one of her kids might get it too was always in the back of our mind. I know now that...

They give yoga pants a bad name

Ladies, I have a question. When did the world run out of pants for women? I mean they still have some right? You know, the kind with buttons, zippers, and pockets? Or were they outlawed and I missed the memo? I don't hate yoga pants. I really don't. I won't let my daughter wear them...

A Tale of Two Sisters: Graduation

I actually wrote this three years ago, and for reasons I cannot at all understand, I felt compelled to re-post it today, here and now. It was the third part of a story that has no real end. A TALE OF TWO SISTERS: GRADUATION Once, when the world was young, it trickled by, stopping here...

No Mas Pantalones #5: Random thoughts of a man without pants.

There goes my deposit. I've done it a hundred times. I check to see if the spaghetti is ready by throwing one of the strands on the wall. If it sticks it's ready. That's what the cool people do isn't it? I'm sure I read somewhere that it is. It was on the internet so...