Captain No Fish is non-compliant.
He just won’t stay home. Sure, he’s a judge and has judgy things to do once in while. He is well known in the law enforcement community for dismissing citations and pissing off cops. I could well change his name to Judge “case dismissed” G****. But I won’t . Captain No Fish is a more suitable title. In case you are not aware, I call him Captain No Fish because he has boat and we go fishing often, and he knows where the fish are, but when we get there, no fish are there. But that is another story.
He still has to go out now and then for county business. He has to declare people dead (like if they don’t know they are dead), section people who are having mental problems, and sign papers that need to be signed. But, more often than this, he is just at the local HEB grocery store looking for empanadas or something else sweet to eat with his coffee (and share with me). My daughter Lauren says if she catches him leaving the house again on non-official business she will ban him from our patio, where he drinks his coffee with me. Or, at least make him wear a hazmat suit.
I get it. The man is at least 157 years old and his wife even older, so they need to stay home. Old people just don’t listen. But hey, that’s life in the time of corona. And don’t get me wrong, if he asked me to go out fishing with him right now I would go. Fishing with Captain No Fish is a lesson in social distancing. Every time we go out we stay away from other boats because he says “they don’t know what they are doing because they don’t have the right captain”. Which I would believe if it wasn’t for the all the yelling and screaming we hear from those far off boats. Stuff like “Yeah! Awesome catch!” or the even more popular “Wow! What is that, your 10th one already?”. It is the way it is. It’s bad luck to change captains during a global pandemic. Everybody knows that.
The Coronavirus and my left testicle. (Yes, you read that correctly.)
I went to a sonogram appointment yesterday at a local hospital. The thing was scheduled about 3 or 4 weeks ago. As if living in a global pandemic wasn’t enough I have been having terrible pain on the left side of my abdomen that radiates all the way “down there” (my left one, specifically). It’s manageable during the day, cause I am tough guy and all that, but at night it kicks my butt and will not let me sleep. So the doc set up an appointment and there I was. The hospital was asking all kinds of questions and temperatures were being taken before entering the front doors. Cops were there to keep the peace. I went in and the place was basically a ghost town compared to most days. I went in and got registered and before I knew it I was talking to a nice young woman in her twenties who was going to do my sonogram. Ten minutes later I was lying face done with my shirt off and my pants down just past my “inguinal” area (google it). Now, I have no idea how long these things are supposed to take, but I was in there for about an hour and a half. It didn’t bother me much to have my pants down in front of a stranger in a medical setting. I did not get the nickname “Mr. No Mas Pantalones” in the old days by accident. But still, this was strange. The girl spent about 15 minutes on my abdomen and the other hour and 15 minutes thoroughly sonogramming the hell out of my testicles. I admired her thoroughness, but I automatically assumed that in these times of social distancing she was simply not getting out much, and thus maybe missed the human connection. I do not fault her for that. I did notice that the little light on the sonogram machine was not in the “on” position the last 30 minutes of the exam, but, well, this is life in the time of Corona. When I walked out she waived the 60 dollar deductible. That’s all I got to say about that.
I sat my dog Blue down yesterday and explained the seriousness of the global pandemic. He appeared to have this serious look on his face for just a split second, then he licked himself for the next 5 minutes. Oh, to be a dog in the time of Corona.
It will get better.
One of my friends tweeted the other day asking what music we were listening to during this crisis. The impression was that maybe we were listening to things other than we normally would during this thing. It never occurred to me that I would listen to different music just because of corona, but many people posted just that. They listened to music that made them feel better about things. Music that remined them of different times far away from this mess. I get that.
Things seem to be getting a little more serious every day. We just learned of the first case of this virus in our own little city. I know it was inevitable, still, things appear bigger the closer they get. Small business are suffering. Especially those considered non-essential. A good guy I know has one of the last movie rental places around. He had to shut down this place that is his source of income for him and his partner. You can’t rent movies if no one can walk in your store. He is working on an online solution just to be able to eat next week. Waiters and waitresses are losing their jobs because of all the restaurants being shut down. People don’t know where their next check is coming from.
I urge everyone to be stay strong and be vigilant. This will pass and soon we will have a variety of other things to worry about. It will get better. I’m rooting for all of you.