Met a couple of old friends the other day for dinner that I had not seen in a lifetime. We all wore older faces, but it was still us. When I saw them I still saw the kids we once were and the memories of us were still there. We had not seen each other in many years, but we shared a special bond, the kind that can only be forged in our beginnings. We found each other during a time we did not know the rules.
It’s a special thing to find that first real friend. There is an incorruptible innocence to it. As we bond we have nothing to compare it to. Nothing to judge it against. We haven’t had friends before so we don’t know what we are doing. So we move forward without much reservation and we don’t hold anything back. We forge a connection that will become part of our first memories and no matter how old we become that connection never really fades.
I imagine I have lost thousands of memories over the years. Good ones and bad ones all fade away for reasons of their own. But the memories that I made when I didn’t know the dangers of love and friendship are the ones that refuse to leave me. They stay with me no matter what new memories I make.
When I think of the things that have happened between then and now and am worn down by all that has come afterwards, I look back to that little boy and the first thoughts about the first people he cared about. And I feel better.
I feel a forgiveness of the future. I find and eternity to it all.