No mas pantalones #6: Random thoughts of a man without pants.

My toaster died.

Well, not “died” died. It has life in it. If you plug it in and turn it on it will power up. It’s more like a bad case of dementia. More often than not it forgets to toast one side of the bread or just refuses to toast the sides equally with any real consistency anymore.  It had been doing that for a while and I had just been putting up with it. I would stop the toaster when I thought one side was done than turn it around to try to let the other side catch up a bit. I literally had to stare into the toaster while it was on to see what was going on and make the necessary adjustments to assure I got some half-way decent toast. It was quite time-consuming having to baby sit the toaster like that so I finally got rid of it. It had to go.

It was a long walk to the dumpster today.  That was much tougher than I thought. I liked that toaster. It is one of the few things that has made it from place to place when I have moved. Probably one of the last things to do so (except my books). Everything else has been replaced (somethings more than once). It wasn’t a special toaster and I don’t remember it being expensive. Well, it did have 5 buttons I never used (lol). Anyway, it hung on for dear life until the end.  So yeah, I did not want to see it go. Hold on, I think I got something in my eye. Okay, let’s move on.

We had a good run you and I. Remember all the toast? And the thing we would do with the Strawberry Pop Tarts (ha!)? And the time with the bagels and the fire department got called? Yeah, good times. Rest in peace, buddy. You will be missed.


Where did you come from Blue?

Since we got our dog Blue my daughter Lauren has been obsessed about his genealogy. The dog shelter we got him from told us that he was picked up as a stray so they have no information about him. They did notice he was house trained already and assumed he ran away from his home. They labeled him a “shepherd mix” on his official paperwork and gauged him at about a year old so that is what we have answered to that question if anyone ever asks us. It’s not a big deal to me. But Lauren has been fanatic about what dog he might be. And I think the main reason is that she is always wondering how cute of baby he was. She is always running around saying stuff like “Oh Blue you’re so handsome! I bet you were such a cute puppy!” Blah,  Blah, and blah.

The other day, out of the blue (get it?), a friend of mine who has seen pics of Blue (get it now?) sent a link to a dog breed that looks just like Blue (ha!). Anyway, I honestly thought it was Blue in the picture. Well, I showed it to Lauren and she freaked. According to her she is now the proud owner of  Fawn Australian Kelpie (whatever that is).

Imposter Blue from Down Under
The real Blue watching  The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer on CNN

Anyway, yeah I see the resemblance. And yes, the specification range for those dogs is exactly Blue’s size and every characteristic they are known to have is one that he has also. It’s uncanny. But I really doubt an Australian shepherd dog found himself homeless on the streets of Mission, Texas just lucky enough to end up on my sofa waiting for updates from Special Counsel Robert Mueller on CNN, or on Lauren’s bed waiting for her to drop some Hot Cheetos on the floor. Dogs are not usually that lucky.  But I suppose stranger things have happened and I told Lauren I agreed with her just so I could put to bed the question of where Blue came from. She has now downloaded baby pics of these Kelpie dogs and put them in Blue’s official folder in case Blue wants to know where he came from  and what he looked like as a pup when he gets older. Yeah. That’s what I live with.

New Years Resolution talk 

Have none. Don’t believe in them. My daughter Lauren though is always trying them out. Here is this years very short conversation about it.

Lauren- “Dad I’m doing the Keto diet starting January first and you’re doing with me!”

Me- “Whoa! Is there such a thing! I’m in! When can we start?”

Lauren- “Uh, January first? We need to prepare for it. Go get some stuff.”

Me- “Why wait? Let’s start today. I already have some bags of them here.”

Lauren- “Keto diet dad. Not Cheeto diet.”

Me- “What the hell is a Keto?”

And there ended our year-end resolution talk.

Hope all you readers and writers are having a great new year! I’ll catch up with you in a couple of days.

Will be updating blog at least once or twice weekly from now on. Hope you stick around awhile.










5 thoughts on “No mas pantalones #6: Random thoughts of a man without pants.

Add yours

  1. Toasters nowadays are all about conspiring; mine does the same thing though I’m not ready to wave the white flag yet. Congrats on owning a “Fawn Australian Kelpie” though I’d dispute the ‘Fawn’ part. He’s clearly a Blue. Happy 2019.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Feliz año!! Good to know you’ll be writing so much.
    Let’s hope “Keto diet” doesn’t make a monster, when people is hungry, things get nasty.
    Blue is more beautiful than the other one, his eyes…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad that friend sent you the info on the Fawn Autralian Kelpie and that it made Lauren happy. Happy New Year!! Also, I like my bread fresh and soft.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: